Every time is as hard as the first time. Saying goodbye to your loved ones when you escort them or they escort you to the airport. You never get used to it.
This is the life me and many people around the globe chose to have. That is the price we, the expatriates have to pay.
The excitement that you feel when you go pick them up from the airport, or the train station, is immense! Your house for all those days that your family stays with you is full with their voices and their laughter.
You spend so much time together, trying to make up for all the time you spend apart. You do so many things, you show them your city, introduce them to your favorite places and they of course help you a lot with your daily routines!
When you go back home for a vacation, all the excitement of the trip and the “can’t wait to make new memories with my friends and family” is filling your whole being! You are so happy and full of energy for the days to come.
And then, the day comes that both you and them have to go back to your normal life, apart.
It sucks, it hurts and you keep wondering why? Why have you chosen to live away from your own family chasing a career. Why does it hurt that much? And then you go back to an empty house; full of the memories of the past weeks, and you just sit alone for a while to think about what has just happened and this silence is so deafening.
After 6 plus years of living abroad i don’t think i will ever get used to that hole that grows in my chest when it’s time for my family to go back home or for me to say goodbye at the airport and head back home. And it actually starts a couple of days before not letting you fully enjoy the last days with them.
I am not the kind of person that shares feelings with his loved ones. It is very difficult for me to be emotional in front of people; so i pile up everything inside me resulting to an outburst the day they leave and i am alone again. I think i have made a lot of progress after all those goodbyes in the airports and now i just say goodbye quickly with a smile on my face and start walking. I do of course look back and i try hard not to let myself burst into tears and i am happy that i am succeeding. But when i am alone, this is when i let everything out; myself is the only person that i don’t have to hide my true feelings from. I feel safe with me, real and vulnerable.
Cheers to the day that i won’t have to feel like that anymore and my life will be amazing and blessed next to my family and back to my home country.
